Labels
by J R Mai
Summary: One shot - Steph and Ranger came so close to having a real conversation about their relationship in FEARLESS/SCARY. This is what would have happened if Steph had answered differently to the question "what kind of label would you be looking for?"


Ranger leaned against the headboard, Stephanie's back nestled to his chest. Their naked bodies wrapped in nothing but sweaty sheets and each other. These were his favorite moments. The urgent rush of need temporarily sated, replaced by the soft glow of post coital bliss he only felt after he made love to her. He'd had sex with other women, but it had never been like this. Contentment. Peace.

"You love me," she said.

That brought out another smile. "Yes."

"But is it still the kind of love that only comes with a condom? Because it's hard to tell sometimes. This doesn't always feel like it's just sex."

Ranger drew in a pensive breath, weighting his answer. There were a lot of ways this conversation could go wrong. If he was smart he'd change the subject. But he could hear the self doubt in her voice. If he didn't say it, she'd assume that was all he wanted from her. And he couldn't let her think that, no matter how complicated it made things. He sighed and lifted her hand to his lips. "It's not just sex, Babe," he admitted.

"Then what is it?"

"You need a label?"

"A label might help."

"What kind of label would you be looking for?" They were on dangerous ground. Putting labels and expectations on what they were to each other wouldn't be good for either of them. Not yet.

He held in his exhale while she weighed what it was she really wanted. She drew in a long breath. Searching for courage. "I don't know. Most women would want _girlfriend_."

"You're not most women."

She didn't answer. Just worried her bottom lip like she was afraid she'd say something she couldn't take back.

Steph was unlike any woman Ranger had ever met. But not in every way. She'd been raised in a good Catholic family. By a mother of faith who tried to instill in her children that marriage and commitment were part of life. Ranger's mother had raised him that way too. It was why he didn't take relationships lightly. Promising love and fidelity to someone was a big deal. It made your life goals and happiness second to theirs. Made you responsible for them. Meant they were responsible for you. And while Steph was the only woman he'd ever wanted that with, he didn't want her to be responsible for him. She was too good. Too pure and unburdened. And he was…

Jaded was far too generous a term for what he was.

Steph shifted. Uncomfortable with the direction she'd led them. He could have changed the subject. Let her off the hook she'd baited. But that wouldn't have been fair. She deserved to have this conversation if she wanted it. He owed her that much. He waited her out. After a long moment she sighed.

"What if I was?" she asked. "Like other women, I mean."

"Hypothetically?"

"Hypothetically."

Ranger held in a laugh and kissed her shoulder. "Babe, if you were like other women, you wouldn't be in my bed. And there's no way in hell I'd be entertaining a conversation like this." She laid her head back on his chest so she could look at him with those bright, open eyes of hers. He drew in a long breath, brushing her fingertips over his parted smile in an open mouth kiss. "Hypothetically. If there was a man who'd lived a hard life. The kind of life that would ruin even the strongest men. Who'd seen and done things civilized people can't imagine. Someone who had lost so much of himself that he didn't recognize who he'd become. If a man like that found a woman who was not just arousing and invigorating, but challenging. Who brought a little joy back into his dark life. And she wanted to be his? Let's just say that trying to hold back so she could have the life she deserves would be nearly impossible."

"Life she deserves?"

"Babe. You can't tell me that being the girlfriend of an emotionally unavailable, former Special Forces mercenary was in your life plan."

She shrugged. "Lots of things weren't in my life plan. I didn't grow up thinking I would be a bounty hunter that rolled in garbage for a living."

That made him laugh, despite his efforts. "You do have an unfortunate relationship with karma's playful side," he said, kissing her hand. "But you also know that a relationship wouldn't be good for either of us."

"Why?"

He curled her tighter in his arms. Holding her close. "Steph, you should know I'm not capable of being what you need. I can love you. Protect you. But that's about it."

"That doesn't answer my question."

No. It didn't. Leave it to Steph to ignore the obvious. He brushed his smile over her bare shoulder and up her neck. Rewarded when she shivered in pleasure. "Out of curiosity, what expectations do you think are attached to the label girlfriend?"

"Well. Regular sex, for one."

He grinned. "I could get with that program. Is it safe to assume closet space would be included?"

"Maybe a little. That could be one of those works itself out kind of things."

"What else?"

She thought a second. "Dates?"

"Like dinner and dancing?"

"Maybe."

"So B and Es wouldn't count as dates anymore."

"Did they used to?"

A silent laugh rocked his chest. He kissed her head. "What else? I'm guessing there would be family events involved. Would you expect to drag me home to your mother's house every week, because that might be a deal breaker."

"Is big bad Ranger afraid of my family?"

"Yes."

She elbowed him in the ribs and he chuckled. "What about your family?"

"You'd want to meet my family?"

She shrugged. "If I was your girlfriend? Maybe."

That would open a can of worms. His family was nearly rabid for him to settle down. Bringing home a girl he was so obviously enamored with would give them hope that was a possibility. "So, you'd be looking for public knowledge?"

"Well, I wouldn't take out an ad or anything. But I wouldn't want to do the whole secret relationship thing, and you know how rumors spread. Grandma would probably head straight to the beauty parlor and spill it to anyone who would listen."

"Could be a problem. Put you in danger."

"Like I don't end up in danger all on my own?"

"This would be different. I have a lot of enemies. Very bad people. The kind of people who blow up buildings to get at a single target."

"Am I safe from them now?"

He paused. That was a fair point. Few people understood the depth or nature of his relationship with Stephanie, even among his allies. But they all knew there was something between them. He'd known that since Stolle had tried to use her to find him when he was in the wind after being accused of murder. He'd only admitted his attraction to her a few months prior. Hadn't gone any deeper than a single kiss. And yet since then, everyone and their brother knew Stephanie Plum meant something to him. Even before he knew it himself. "You'd be an even bigger target."

"Would it be worth it?"

It would be for him. He needed her light to balance his darkness. Still didn't make it right. "What else?"

"Well. I'd say I expect you to always have my back, but you already do that. I'd want you to support me and my life choices, but you do that too. Pretty much the only thing we don't have is time."

"Time."

"Yes. You said I'd have to leave your bed eventually."

"And you would. I have no doubt."

"How long?"

"That would depend on you."

"Meaning?"

Ranger considered her a moment. "Babe, I'm not an easy man. And I wouldn't get any easier just because we were together. Just because I would love to have you all to myself, day after day, it doesn't mean you wouldn't eventually get frustrated with me. Morelli is an open book. You have to share him with his job, but he doesn't hold things back from you."

"And you do?"

"Babe." Of course he did, and she knew it. It was one of the things that set her on edge about him. Steph wasn't comfortable with the fact she didn't know his past. She knew his mind. His heart. But she didn't know his damage. Or the things he'd done to earn it. "I couldn't make you promises. Not the ones you want, anyway."

"What could you promise?"

He let his hands brush down her body in an intimate caress. A reminder to himself that she was really here in his arms. "I could promise to take care of you. Physically, financially, sexually. And I could promise fidelity."

"You mean you'd cut loose the bevy of women you have on speedial for late night booty calls?" she asked, batting her eyes at him. A touch of earnest curiosity under the innocent teasing. Maybe a little jealously. Cute.

"Babe, I did that a long time ago."

She sat up a little straighter. "There really was…how long ago?"

"A year. Maybe more."

"Wow. Why?"

He leveled an even gaze at her and she swallowed.

"Me?"

"Yes. You."

"But why?"

He almost laughed. "Babe."

"What? You tell me the man who could give a woman an orgasm with his eyes was celibate for a year because of me and I'm supposed to know why? A year ago I was still with Morelli. Like officially. Before he said the whole seeing other people thing."

"Yes. This was just after the Brenda job."

"After the Brenda job. You mean when everybody thought Morelli had money buried under his house? You were busy working that week, I hardly saw you at all."

"There was a reason for that. It's not worth going over, but the short answer is I realized that seeing other women didn't do it for me anymore."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"Wow. So…how did that happen?"

"Babe?"

"This revelation of yours."

"You want details?"

"Maybe."

Ranger held her eyes, reading the thoughts off her face. Curious. Apprehensive. Doubting. If she'd just been fighting between wanting to know and being afraid to hear it, he might have bypassed it with dismissive teasing. But she really wanted to know. Because she couldn't imagine why a man with such a high sex drive would give up sure, steady sex with multiple women to pine for one he couldn't have. He kissed above her ear and settled her against his body. Brushing light, reassuring strokes across her stomach. "You remember how the Brenda job went?"

She nodded. Warming a few degrees, much to his satisfaction. She remembered. Working with her was always hot. The flirting. The chemistry. The comfortable and easy companionship. There was a reason he'd called it a date when he'd first asked her. He could have said it was a job. But the truth is it wasn't. Not entirely. Every minute they spent together was absolutely a date. Just happened to coincide with a paying gig. The only thing that would have made it better was if she'd accepted his invitation to come home with him. So that he could show her just how much he loved having her around.

But she hadn't. She'd gone home to her boyfriend, like a good girl. And then she'd moved in with said boyfriend, however temporarily, to deal with the teenager that had been dumped in their lap along with the buried treasure mania. And Ranger had been all wound up like a busted clock. Unable to relax in the paradox of wanting her so much and knowing she was with Morelli.

He kissed her hand. "I was in a state after that job."

"Because of me?" He nodded. "How serious was this state?"

"Frighteningly serious," he said with a grin. "And since you'd turned me down, I didn't have the solution for it that I wanted. Tried to find a solution elsewhere."

"One of those other women."

Ranger nodded, still studying her. The jealousy was there again, hiding in her eyes. She didn't like thinking of him with anybody else. They could talk about Morelli all damn day, but the vaguest suggestion of Ranger inside another woman and she was getting a look like she wanted to claw somebody's eyes out. Cute. "You sure you wanna hear this?"

"Yes." No. But she needed to hear it anyway. For her own piece of mind.

Ranger kissed her shoulder to hide his smile. "Her name was Carla Chang. A subcontractor for the defense department I met on a consulting job six years ago. Divorcee. Takes her job very seriously. Driven. Ambitious."

"Sounds like your kind of woman."

"Babe. Contrary to popular belief no one actually enjoys dating themselves. Carla wasn't interested in a relationship any more than I was. It was more of an 'are you busy tonight I could use a fuck' kind of situation."

"So you called her up?"

"Sent a text. Knew she was in town on a job."

"And she said yes."

"Babe, they always say yes."

She got that little offended pouty look she didn't know she made. The one that made him want to bite her bottom lip until she gasped. He'd spare her the details. She wouldn't want to hear how he'd gone to Carla's hotel room. How she greeted him with a lacey black negligee when he let himself in like she expected him to. Security bar and all. It had always turned Carla on that he had those kinds of skills. In fact, Carla had a great appreciation for all his skills. And the stamina with which he used them every time they got together. But that night, it had been different. He'd been distracted.

And she'd noticed.

He'd tried very hard to block out the rest of the world and focus on their mutual pleasure with the single-mindedness he was known for. But he couldn't get Steph out of his head. Eventually he'd stopped trying. Gave into it and took the woman under him with every ounce of want he had for Stephanie Plum. Seeing her flirty eyes in his mind. The soft part of her lips when his presence made her breath catch. Remembering the way she'd tasted that first night. The way it had felt to be deep inside her. Touch her. Hold her. He'd fallen onto the bed after, heart racing, a soft body landing next to him completely breathless.

"Holy fuck," she said, staring at the ceiling trying to catch her breath. He could do little more than nod in agreement. She rolled onto her side to look at him, caressing the hard contours of his chest with amorous relief. "Where did you go? Because you sure as hell weren't here anymore. Not that I'm complaining. I haven't had a pounding like that in years. But that. That was a whole other level to your game that I've never seen."

He hadn't said anything. Just kept staring at the ceiling. Carla studied him. Got quiet.

"Oh my god. It wasn't about me, was it? I mean, I know we've got chemistry, but that." When he didn't respond she leapt on top of him, straddling his body so she could see his eyes. Near laughing. "I thought it was weird when you called me Babe. Breathed it out in that rough, needy growl like a confession. Who is she?"

Ranger scooped her up and put her on her back, hovering over her with feral warning. She thrilled at having that power turned on her. "We don't have the kind of relationship that encourages discussion."

"Please," she said, squirming against him in a way that should have made him hot. "We don't have a relationship at all. Casual fucks can discuss other sexual partners without crossing any lines. I sleep with other men. I know you sleep with other women. No doubt more than one at a time," she added with a grin, rubbing key parts of her against him. "Normally I wouldn't be curious, but if you're thinking about her while you're inside me that's kind of a big deal."

"Meaning?"

She rolled her eyes. "Ranger. Nobody fucks forever. Even a strong, determined, driven man like you can't go through life never feeling anything. And if you have feelings for her, you're not going to be satisfied with me or anyone else. We're just warm, willing bodies. Instant gratification and release. Can't compete with real feelings."

He caught her hips and pinned them against his to stop her from grinding on him. She liked that too. Gasping at the strength of his dominance. "There's only one thing I'm feeling right now."

Her eyes got even hotter, tracing a line down his chest and onto his abdomen. "I'm okay with that. And you can call me Babe all you want. It kinda turns me on," she breathed. Lifting up enough to kiss his jaw and then his neck. She licked him. "And if you don't call me next time I'll understand why."

He devoured her again. Shutting out everything but sensation and fulfillment. Making her pant and coo and cry over and over again until he felt like he'd run a marathon and she was laying limp and spent on the bed. Completely satisfied. After a few minutes of listening to his pounding heart he heard her breathing turn slow and even. Fast asleep.

Ranger stayed there on his back for a long time listening. Expecting his hunger to ease. It hadn't. Not in the slightest. He looked over at the beautiful woman in the bed beside him. Straight raven hair spilled out over the pillow. Her flawless almond skin covered in only the sweat she'd earned using his body to reach new heights over and over again.

And he felt nothing.

Not the stir of desire she used to give him. Not the relaxed contentment that many orgasms are supposed to provide. Nothing.

Then Stephanie's soft curls drifted across his mind and heat filled his chest, her clear, vibrant, guileless eyes glowing bright blue when he closed his own to the darkness. And he realized Carla was right. He could fuck her a thousand times and it wouldn't make the hunger ease. Because it wasn't about her. Wasn't even about him.

He'd already known he had feelings for Stephanie Plum. Knew that he was in love with her, even if he tried very hard not to think about it most of the time. But he'd never expected that something so primal could be tied to her in a way that made the athletic expense of animal instincts worthless to him.

"I didn't get out of it what I used to," he told Stephanie. "Could have got the same result from a couple hours in the gym. Didn't take me long to realize why. Especially after Carla pointed out that having feelings for someone changes things. She was right. I didn't bother contacting her again. Or any of the other women I'd seen casually over the years. Got a few invites, but I passed. And then I heard that Morelli suggested seeing other people. Saw an opportunity to get close to you. So I took it. Made it known I wasn't interested in casual affairs anymore and moved on. Focused all my attention on you." He laughed, nibbling her shoulder again. "Only took a year to get you relaxed and naked again."

"You did that just for me?"

"Because of you, Babe. But don't make it sound like a sacrifice. I didn't give up something I loved. I gave up something that wasn't working for me anymore. Truth is, while I was trying to ruin you for all other men, you succeeded in ruining me for all other women."

"Holy crap." Ranger laughed, his chest rocking her body against him. He curled her tighter in his arms. His hand around her breast. "So…wouldn't that make me obligated to be your girlfriend? You know. Seeing as I ruined you and all."

She really was adorable. "Babe, I'd never planned on having a girlfriend."

"But now that I've ruined you, you're not going to go out and get laid with anyone else. I can't just leave you like that."

"And what would be your recommendation?" he asked, touching her even more. He brushed his thumb across her nipple. Let his hand slide down her belly so that he could search for the place that made her shiver. He found it, and was rewarded when she melted into him. "You gonna make frequent visits to my bed so that I don't get frustrated or lonely?"

"That is one of the perks of having a girlfriend."

He stilled. Amused when she moaned out her disappointment.

"Don't stop," she whimpered.

"You're serious."

"Dead serious!"

He laughed again, still amazed. "You really want me to be your boyfriend. Knowing that I can't offer you a cozy life and a white picket fence."

"It's not a fence I want right now, it's a godamn orgasm!"

He resumed his stroking and she relaxed again. Amusing him even more. "So is that all you'd want out of a relationship? A never ending supply of orgasms?"

"I like the never ending part," she cooed. Hardly thinking about what she was saying.

"So you want a future," he said, his mouth on her neck. She nodded. "With me?" She nodded again. "Why?" he asked, teasing her until she was ready to combust.

"Because I love you," she panted.

He didn't realize he'd stilled again until she grunted in frustration and squirmed to get closer. Begging in a way she never had to with him. She was so easy to read that he knew all her wants. Sometimes her thoughts. But he hadn't realized that. Hadn't let himself wonder it long enough to consider it possible. Steph was attracted to him. She cared about him. Worried for him. But love him?

Ranger scooped her up and brought her across his lap to face him. His fingers tracing her jaw and into her hair. Her eyes held him prisoner for a long moment. "You love me?"

"You didn't know?"

"No. I didn't."

"But you know everything."

"Apparently not," he said, searching her face for any signs of doubt or fear. There weren't any. Not until she started to get nervous. Realized she'd made a confession. "Babe, you know I love you."

"In your own way."

Ranger shook his head. "Not in a long time."

"But you said it was the kind of love that came with a condom."

"I also said I wasn't going to do anything stupid, like marriage or pregnancy. Two years ago."

She bit her lip. Trying to reconcile that with what she thought she knew. "You said it again in Hawaii."

"I said I wasn't marriage material in Hawaii. Said it was hard to have a real relationship with secrets hanging between you. I still mean that. Even if we gave this thing a try, that wouldn't change."

She worried her lip some more. Maybe looking for courage. Maybe planning an escape route. "What would change?"

That made him pause. It wasn't a question he'd ever really considered.

Not a lot, most likely. She was already one of the most important things in his life. Even Rangeman fell second when it came to her needs and her safety. And the idea of her being around even more, maybe every night. Not just as a companion and a friend, but as a lover. Sharing his bed for the indeterminate future. That had a definite appeal. He already took care of her. She might even make it easier if they were together. Be more willing to drive his cars, and stay in his fortress-like building where no bad could reach her. There could be a few downsides on the social end of things, but having the occasional dinner with her family, or his for that matter, would easily be made up for after when he got to take her home and strip her down. Sink into her with all the love and tenderness she made him feel.

God. She loved him?

"Earth to Ranger."

A smile pulled at his mouth. "Babe?"

"That bad?"

She meant the long run down that had left him quiet. Thought he was tallying up the reasons against it. "No, Babe. Not bad. Just a little surprising. Last I heard, you were in love with Joe Morelli."

Again with the lip biting. "I do love Joe."

Interesting. Didn't look like she entirely meant it. "But?"

Her eyes dropped to his belly and her shoulders shrank. Suddenly uncomfortable straddling him naked. He wrapped around her hips and pulled her closer. Brushing his mouth over her chin. Her lips. Light at first. And then slow and deep. Letting her forget herself again. " _But_ Babe?"

"But I don't know if I've ever been _in_ love with him," she said into his kiss.

Something warm hit him like a fist to the gut. "But you're in love with me?"

She nodded, so focused on his open mouth that she was answering on instinct.

"And you want us to be official?"

Another nod. God, how was that possible? How could he have memorized her face and not seen it? Been so distracted by his own love and his own need that he didn't realize she wanted more than his body? He kissed her again. Threading his fingers into the hair at the back of her neck when she opened up to him. He pulled back and rested his head on hers.

"Stephanie. You won't be happy like this forever. Eventually you'll expect to know things I shouldn't tell you. Things you won't like."

"Like what?" she asked with total innocence. Unaware that she'd just crossed the line he was trying to warn her about. He couldn't keep in the bark of laughter. So adorable.

"Like parts of my military career. I spent time attached to a Delta unit. Black ops. Did things you don't want to hear about. And since coming home… Not everything I've done was above board. I've always done was I thought was right, but the law and I have been inconsistent friends."

"I know that."

"Do you?"

"Of course. You're talking about it like you've sold state secrets." Her eyes popped open and she slapped a hand over her mouth. "Omigod. Tell me you haven't sold state secrets!"

Now he was really laughing. Took a second for him to rein it in. "No, Babe, I've never sold state secrets, but it is supremely cute that you think I have access."

She looked relieved and he had to laugh again. God, he loved her. His good mood seemed to be affecting her too. She relaxed again. Leaning against his bare chest to nuzzle his neck in a way he found very appealing. "Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. I know your moral code is sometime inconsistent with the law, and probably the Ten Commandments, but at least you have one."

"You trust me." She nodded again. More deliberately this time. "And if I told you that moral code was acquired through trial and error? That some of the things I've done wouldn't sit well with you?"

"I'd still trust you."

A grin lifted his face. She really meant it. Imagine that. "Girlfriend, huh?"

"Maybe. We could always just take it for a test drive. See how it feels."

He let her snuggle into him, warmth filling his chest. "You realize I'm still an asshole, right?"

"I'm aware."

"Alright then. We'll take girlfriend for a test drive. As long as you wait until it's absolutely necessary to tell your grandmother."

"Deal."


End file.
